The Village

"It is hard to let go of the past, if you have not learned from the past" Spencer Johnson

What valuable lessons have I learned from the past...can I really let go of the past without so much of a flinch at the mere thought of The Man. Is it really all because of The Man. Or was it just a way to escape..it is easier to blame everything that went bad in the present on The Man...he's the reason for all our sufferings, our misery our mishap....yet...is it really that simple.

So...there we were , in The Village....when they were us...we were happy..almost jovial...but the Village took even that luxury.
Here, The Man had changed...so did The Lady. The Man had somewhat mellowed....The Lady had become more bitter. Life for us kids continued like any normal kids. Except that we were plagued by the frequent outburst, the screaming and yelling, the embarrassment, the anger, the frustration and the neighbors. But...since we still have us and our Lady...we can still laugh,smile even cry together.
Then ,slowly came the teasing....the constant harassment upon us kids...we never understood why...we were labeled ....branded as the children of a communist...a whore...and worst, we were the ugliest of them all...we were labeled as the Apes...
I never understood why...each time I looked at the mirror...I asked my then young and innocent mind...am I really an ape..do I really look like an ape...why am I called the daughter of a communist...and by kids almost my age and supposedly to have blood relation with The Man...and of course The Man..being the way he was,just stood by and said and did nothing... For The Lady,...when things became so unbearable for her to watch..she ran 'amuk'...of course she didn't kill anyone...just literally begging the kids to stop the constant belittling and harassment......
Gradually, it did stop....for the ugly ducklings had turned to swans....however...by the time it did,I had already lost my soul...so deep was the scar...when I looked up in the mirror...I truly did see an Ape....so when I walked..it was never with my head held up...

the past

I'm new at this...when I first came across blog.spot, I thought who in the world would spent so much time...or even a little precious time on writing just about anything on a little white screen and later get it published to be read by just about any Tom ,Dick and Harry. Boy..was I wrong...
anyway...what's the present without the past....and what's the past without the future
let's see if I can still go back in time.....
can I sort of like fly there and reminisced on old memoirs...where do I start
from the day....I knew how to count 123...ehm let see

1970's
satu dua tiga...and the sound still echoed...that was the sound of a man who taught me how to count. A middlesized handsome man...I'll stick to calling him The Man.What fond memory do I have of The Man. Do I still have affectionate feelings towards him. Afterall..without The Man..there is no Me...at least I should be grateful for that...not just that...for a lot more things..good and bad.
Coming back to The Man..back then life was difficult...no money...no friends..not even relatives to lean on once a while...we were almost like the aliens from mars.
You see The Lady who married The Man was of different culture and religious background. Once married to The Man she was no longer accepted by her clans. Not that they were ever kind to The Lady.She was never accepted by The Man's clan either. So life was extremely difficult...for us kids...life was wonderful then...at least we got to jump into a nearby drain and caught tadpoles...even toads...and we have us...four of us...we laughed..we cried..we laughed...and still we have us...and yes The Lady would champion us through thick and thin...arent we the fortunate ones

testing ground...

halloo..halloo??